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Bill Gates baney ga Meera ka pati!

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else on the room stops to listen.

Man: Hello

Woman: Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?

Man: yes

Woman: I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $ 1,000. Is it ok if I buy it?

Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it much.

Woman: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked.

Man: How much?

Woman: $ 90,000.

Man: Ok, but for that price, I want it with all the options.

Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing….the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $ 950,000.

Man: well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $ 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price.

Woman: Ok, I’ll see you later! I love you so much!

Man: Bye! I love you, too.

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape….Then he smiles and asks, “Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”

My apologies first for narrating this lengthy joke verbatim but that’s surely worth it as after reading it, some questions instantly arose in my mind. First, how much time a woman like this would take to make her millionaire husband bankrupt? Second, will that woman still be happy from her man? Third, how such woman would react when her husband would not fulfill any one of her ‘farmayish’? Fourth, does such kind of husband really exist on earth? Last but not the least, which Lollywood actress you think is closer in character and style to such a woman?

Before answering question number one, let us presume the answer of the last question first as film star Meera. Since Meera is desperately looking for such a husband these days, she is our automatic choice for the character depicted in the above joke. Meera’s husband hunt is evident from her popular TV show “Kon banega Meera ka pati?” in which she (along with her mom obviously) scrupulously shortlists only those candidates who can afford her luxurious lifestyle rather than Meera ‘affording’ them! This is basic criterion that has been devised by Meera’s mom for shortlisting her potential son-in-law.

Coming back to the answer of the first question, that involves some mathematical calculations. In order to understand this arithmetic, let us imagine that such a woman, i.e. Meera is married to Bill Gates. Now Bill Gates is a person who earns $ 250 every second, that’s about $ 20 million a day and a whopping $ 7.8 billion a year. If we assume that he will live for another 35 years, he has to spend $ 6.78 million per day to finish all his wealth before he goes in his grave. This filthy rich man can bankrupt in two ways only: one, if Microsoft Windows’ users can claim $ 1 for every time their computers hang because of Microsoft Windows, Bill Gates will be bankrupt in 3 years; two, if Gates keeps his marriage with Meera for just one year. You can bet on that!

Answer to the second and third question is quite simple but at the same time intermingled. That woman (Meera) will be happy as long as her husband (Bill Gates) would keep on fulfilling her demands. When Meera would start getting a feeling that Gates is not paying any heed to her demands and he would be bankrupt soon, Meera would smartly say goodbye to him and start looking for a new husband, probably Warren Buffet this time. Regarding fourth question, we have already identified Bill Gates as the potential husband on earth but even Gates would find it hard to get going with such a demanding woman. Hence, we can safely conclude that no species as ‘perfect husband’ exits in this world.

Some of you may think that even Meera can’t make Gates bankrupt as the latter is unimaginably rich. For such innocent people, I would suggest that they should shake their memories and recall Meera’s ‘alleged’ husband Ateeq. When that guy claimed that he spent 30 million rupees to gift a house to Meera, a Pakistan business tycoon exclaimed in astonishment, ”What the hell…….why people spent millions on something that can be easily bought for a couple of lacs!” One can only guess what he is talking about!

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December 6, 2011 Posted by | Satire | , , | Leave a comment