Yasir Pirzada's Blog

Its collection of columns of Yasir Pirzada

Love Diary

31 May 2007: Bubbly, Yesterday was the most memorable day of my life. We were together for the whole day and promised that we will be together for the rest of our lives as well. Your beauty has captivated my heart and I have no hesitation in saying that you are the most charming girl I have ever seen. I had always dreamt for a lady like you.

18 June 2007: I simply can’t live without you Bubbly. You are such a stunning beauty that I have no words to express the mesmerizing effect of your personality on me. I feel myself in heavens when I am with you. Although I am not a poet, yet sometimes I feel like saying some verses for you.

06 July 2007: I have now decided that I will propose you formally through my parents as soon as I get a reasonable job. I know it’s hard to wait now for both of us but you will agree with me that these worldly things do matter a lot in our society. I have already started searching for the job and I promise that immediately after getting my firs salary, I will buy an engagement ring for you.

20 August 2007: You must be knowing how desperately I am looking for the job. This is a cruel world which doesn’t understand the feelings of two loving souls so we need to be patient. By the way, I have heard that your parents are looking for a match for you, is this true? Bubbly, I will die if I couldn’t get you, this is for sure.

29 October 2007: Why your parents are in so much hurry for your marriage? Can’t they wait for couple of years? Yes, I have got the job but right now my salary is not that handsome so I am just waiting for the right time when I will send my parents to you. Please persuade your parents that they must not make any hastily decision about your marriage.

04 January 2008: Bubbly, I have good news and a bad news. Good news is that finally I have got promotion and salary raise; and bad news is that I have been transferred to Karachi. I know I will be away from you but dear that is only a temporary period, I will be soon with you. Once I am back in Lahore, I will send my parents to you, this is a promise.

15 March 2008: Life is quite tough here in Karachi but thank God Saira is quite helpful. She works in our office and don’t worry we are just colleagues, nothing else. I am missing you here but can’t do much about it. This is the way life is but I still love you.

10 May 2008: Bubbly, I told you earlier that Saira and me are just friends and not more than that so why you are being so suspicious? I am sorry but this is typical womanish thinking and I hate it. I am struggling in the initial phase of my career and instead of being supportive you are casting doubts over my intentions? This is unfortunate for both of us.

03 August 2008: My organization is sending me to Malaysia for a training of 6 months. If I successfully pass out this training (which won’t be a problem for me), I will be posted there for further 2 years. I know that your parents have been in hurry for your marriage but I can’t do much about it. I wish you could understand my problems. And by the way, Bubbly, have you gained weight or what? You are looking a bit old in your recent pic which you have sent to me.

11 March 2011: Hey Bubbly it’s been ages since we communicated last time. I remember that I called you from Malaysia somewhere in 2008. Hope everything is fine at your end. Now I am back in Lahore and will try to see you soon.

12 April 2011: It is shocking news for me that you got married 2 years back and now you have a 6 months baby also. I can’t believe this. Remember you used to say that you can’t live without me and I am the man with whom you will spend your whole life and bla bla. What was all that? Did you find someone better than me or what? Love lost, I think!

19 April 2011: Thanks for blaming me for all that has happened in our lives. This was the last thing which was expected from you. I told you in the very beginning that career is very important for me but you never understood this. I have also now decided to get married. Saira is a very loving and caring lady and I am sure she will prove to be an ideal wife. Her father owns the company in which I work. God bless you, anyway!


April 28, 2011 Posted by | Dating, Humor, Men, Satire, Society, Women | Leave a comment

“Legal” Businesses

Some people think that making money in a country like Pakistan is an extremely difficult phenomenon. They are wrong. In a country where you can’t find pure milk, one can become rich just by supplying pure dairy products; where you can’t find quality education, one can become wealthy by opening a state of the art school; and where there is a scarcity of international standard hospitals, one can become a business tycoon in no time just by establishing a hospital filled with qualified doctors. If these ideas sound a bit difficult to implement due to shortage of initial capital or lack of expertise, you can still become millionaire by employing much less expensive techniques, e.g. by sensibly marketing weight loss drugs, face whitening lotions, hair removing/growing (whichever is applicable) ointments, anti aging creams and so on. Those who think that environment in Pakistan is not business friendly due to lawlessness, corruption and inefficient bureaucracy; they are terribly mistaken; the environment is extremely business friendly, thanks to lawlessness, corruption and inefficient bureaucracy. Let’s see, how!!!

We are living in a country, where you don’t have to pay taxes, infact whatever tax you collect as a withholding agent on behalf of the government, you can easily pocket it, nobody would ask; and if somebody asks, give him/her his due share and then enjoy the remaining bounty. This means that as a businessman, you can earn even the government share of taxes over and above your enormous profit. Is this possible without an inefficient and corrupt bureaucracy?

We are living in a country, where you don’t need to worry about any license fee or similar kind of useless stuff even if you are indulging in a health related business. You can easily advertise your tall claims about any incurable disease found on earth, experiment with the lives of the people, make lots of money and then get away with it. It doesn’t mean that there is no licensing or certification system in the country, it is working in papers but can be easily dealt with the “papers” having picture of our Quaid. Again these are all the blessings of an inefficient and corrupt bureaucracy, hats off to them.

We are living in a country where you don’t have to worry about consumer rights or stupid stuff like that. These are all western gimmicks not applicable in this part of the world. In whatever business you are, just keep your focus on money making and give a dam about consumer protection. Nobody would ever think of probing how chicken nuggets are made, how much clean is bottled water available in the market or what are the after effects of using weight loss drugs? In a country where on average hundreds of people die in Drone attacks, suicide bombings and target killings, who cares about unhealthy chicken nuggets, harmful drinking water and health injurious weight loss drugs? Surely this is possible only due to the prevailing lawlessness in the country, so just chill!!!

I always wonder why people indulge themselves in illegal businesses like dacoity, burglary, smuggling, drug trafficking or kidnapping for ransom etc. when we have so many “legal” business options available in our beloved country. The other day I came across a frustrated young guy who used to do the work of plumber in our locality. Since he was a skilled worker, he managed to make reasonable amount of money every month but somehow was not satisfied with that income due to his growing needs, thanks to all kinds of round the clock advertisements being run on our TV channels. I was shocked to learn that he had been held by the police on the charges of dacoity. When I inquired about the details of the incident, he told that he desperately wanted to increase his income so he thought of some easy way of doing it. The easiest plan which clicked to his mind was mobile phone snatching but unfortunately he failed in his first attempt and held by the police red handed. I really feel pity for him as he didn’t prove to be sensible enough to think of some “intelligent legal businesses” which I mentioned above. Had he started “curing” patients of hepatitis and other deadly diseases simply by giving life saving drugs to them in a clinic decorated with fake degrees and certificates, he would have become rich in no time; and no policeman or government official would have bothered about him!!!

So, those of you who are still double minded whether to do “legal” business in Pakistan or not, please don’t hesitate anymore. By the grace of God, we have a faulty system which will surely help you in making money beyond your imagination. It’s worth having a risk!!!

P.S. An important thing to keep in mind is that the government functionaries are well aware of all the “legal business practices” going on in their area of jurisdiction. They keep themselves ignorant only when they are “paid” to be ignorant; if you stop their “payment”, you will be flooded with all sorts of officials ranging from social security department to the department for protection of animal rights. So don’t take that risk.

April 28, 2011 Posted by | Humor, Satire, Society | Leave a comment